Anti-bullying / Cool Tools
“Bullying is when someone repeatedly and on purpose says or does mean or hurtful things to another person who has a hard time defending himself or herself.”
Cool Tools Overview
Cool Tools is designed to help build, maintain & repair relationships, & to help children learn how to handle conflict. Prevention through instruction is the key. Along with the “tools,” children learn a common language for understanding and mediating conflict. Cool Tools is NOT designed for bullying but for teachable moments. Cool Tools Training Presentation
The use of Cools Tools is always Roosevelt’s first approach for mediation- Prevention, Intervention, Building Relationships, Maintaining Relationships, Repairing Relationships.
Discipline = An Opportunity
To learn and grow, children must take risks and make mistakes. We strive to maintain an environment in which: Children feel safe taking risks as they learn, Expectations and consequences are clear to all, Children feel supported when they make mistakes.
School and families work together to guide children to make positive behavioral changes to promote healthy relationships.
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Personal Space, Consideration, Cue: How can you situate yourself to avoid conflict?, Are you in his/her bubble?, Where is your bubble?
Concept: Choice of voice, Value: Integrity, Cue: Let’s practice using an “I” statement, not using “you” statements, Lesson: Tone
Concept: Cleaning up communication, Corresponding value: Responsibility, Cues: “Are there words that need to be cleaned up in order to repair hurt feelings?” “Once repairs are made, you can resolve the conflict.” “Next time, how can you choose your words more carefully?”, Review concept of Put-downs, Lesson: Discussion of residual damage
Concept: Communication, Value: Kindness, Cue: How can you communicate to prevent, conflict?, Cue: Could you give him/her a put up to help resolve this conflict?, Lesson: Put-ups and Put Downs
Concept: Compassion and closure, Corresponding value-Forgiveness, Cue: “Once the conflict is resolved (win-win or agree to disagree), can you forgive and move on?”, Erase the blame, erase the shame
Recognition – starting with an “I” statement, Regret – for hurting another, Repair – of the personal or community relationship.
Concept: Decision-making, Cue: Sometimes we’re too upset to solve a problem, It’s okay to walk away.
Olweus Bullying Prevention Program
A research-based systems-change program, Designed for all students (TK-12), Preventative and responsive, focused on changing norms and restructuring the school setting.
Olweus Anti-Bullying Rules:
- We will not bully others.
- We will try to help students who are bullied.
- We will try to include students who are left out.
- If we know that someone is being bullied, we will tell an adult at school and adult at home.
Roosevelt Anti-Bullying Rules:
- At Roosevelt my friends Stand by Me. We do not bully others.
- We will try to help other students who are being targeted, hurt or bullied.
- We will make a point to include Students who are easily left out.
- When we know that somebody is being targeted, hurt or bullied, we will tell an adult at school and an adult at home.
Roosevelt administrators, teachers and staff are committed to working with families to support the development of the whole child. A strong connection between school and home is best way to support children to become successful students, friends and navigators of the world. We appreciate your support in discussing the school rules and expectations with your child and hope that this handbook is helpful to you in engaging in a conversation with your child about your family values.
Student Confidentiality
All students have the right to privacy. We must maintain the integrity and diversity of our campus. Different learning styles, abilities, and behaviors will be observed. When grading papers or working with students, it is important not to share how a student is doing with others, including a student’s parents.
If a student tells you something in confidence (e.g., expresses thoughts of hurting self or others or is being hurt), this should immediately be shared directly with the teacher. Roosevelt School personnel will contact the appropriate authorities or parents, as indicated.
Your Toolbox of Cool Tools
RULE 1: We will not bully others
Bullying is peer abuse:“Bullying is when someone repeatedly and on purpose says or does mean or hurtful things to another person who has a hard time defending himself or herself.”
Rules also apply to parents/teachers/staff.
WHAT ARE THE COMPONENTS OF BULLYING?
- The intent to harm.
- Involves an aggressive behavior or threat of further aggression.
- An imbalance of power or strength.
- Typically involves a pattern of behavior repeated over time.
TYPES OF BULLYING
DIRECT:
- Physical – the use of force to physically harm others.
- Verbal – the use of words (threats, name-calling, teasing, etc.) to taunt and harass others.
- Cyber-bullying – the use of technology as a tool to be relationally aggressive.
INDIRECT:
- Relational – the use of relationships to directly or indirectly manipulate and hurt others. Includes rumors, exclusion, this can also be done through cyber-bullying
What is the difference between RUDE, MEAN, and BULLYING?
When someone says or does something unintentionally hurtful and they do it once, that’s RUDE. When someone says or does something intentionally hurtful and they do it once, that’s MEAN. When someone says or does something intentionally hurtful and they keep doing it- even when you tell them to stop or show them that you’re upset – that’s BULLYING.
THE “BULLY” – WHAT DOES A BULLY LOOK LIKE:
Myth: children who bully are loners
Fact: Bullies are usually popular and/or the leaders of a group
Myth: Children who bully have low self-esteem
Fact: Bullies usually have an inflated idea of their own self-importance and believe that they are better then others
Myth: Bullies learn their behavior at home.
Fact: Majority of bullies have overly permissive to parents and lack of parental supervision.
CHARACTERS OF CHILDREN WHO BULLY OTHERS:
Positive attitude toward violence and the use of violent means, Strong needs to dominate and subdue other students to get their own way, Impulsive and easily angered, Show little empathy toward students who are bullied, Are involved in other anti-social or rule breaking activities, Are typically stronger than boys in general and particularly the students they bully, Some are highly skilled socially and good at ingratiating themselves with teachers and adults.
Children who bully are more likely:
- To get into frequent fights
- Get injured a lot
- Steal
- Vandalize property
- Be truant and drop out of school
- Report poor academic achievement
- Have a negative opinion of school
- Those who bully others in middle school are 4 times as likely to have 3 more convictions by the age of 24.
WHY DO CHILDREN BULLY?
RULE #2: We will try to help students who are bullied.
CHARACTERISTICS OF CHILDREN BEING BULLIED
Cautious, sensitive, quiet, withdrawn and shy; Can be anxious, insecure, unhappy and have low self-esteem; Are depressed and engage in suicidal ideation much more often than peers; Often do not a single good friend and relate better to adults than peers; Physically weaker than their peers; Can be popular.
THE BYSTANDERS
Bystanders may feel Afraid, Powerless to Change the Situation, Guilty for not Acting. This results in diminished empathy for bullied students over time.
WHAT HAPPENS TO A KID WHO FEELS BULLIED?
Lonely, lower self-esteem, depression and anxiety, misses school and lower grades, illness (somatization), suicide ideation and/or suicide
RULE #3: We will try to include students who are left out
This would include children at higher risk of being bullied: Children with disabilities, special needs, and health problem, Children who are obese, and Children who are LGBT.
RULE #4: If we know someone is being bullied, we will tell and adult at home and at school
In A Healthy School Climate, Bullying Creates A:
A climate of fear and disrespect, Interferes with student learning. Students both the bullied and bystanders feel insecure, unsafe and do not like school as much, May feel unsafe due to lack of care and control from supervising adults.
STAND BY ME IS FOR EVERYONE…
Classroom, School, Individual, Community, and Parents!
WHY ADDRESS BULLYING AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE?
- Children who bully when they are young and the behavior does not get addressed/corrected tend to continue bullying into middle school and high school …
- Bullies more likely to have a criminal record by age of 24.
- Bullying = violation of civil and criminal laws.
- Physical bullying = assault
- Gender bullying = sexual harassment, date rape, domestic violence
- Intimidating for gain = extortion
- Rumor/lies = defamation of character
- Sexting = child pornography
WHAT WILL ROOSEVELT DO?
- Develop school-wide/district rules against bullying
- Class meetings
- Environment
- Parent Meetings
- Accountable and active reports of bullying
INTERVENTION WITH THE VICTIM
Ensure the victim feels safe, if they are not, take steps to collaboratively problem-solve. Inform the victim of their rights as a community member to be treated with respect, dignity, and equality. Empower the victim to converse with the offender about why the language or behavior was offensive or oppressive.
INTERVENTION WITH THE OFFENDER
Ensure that the offender understands that their words and actions have both impact and consequences. Ensure that the offender understands what those impacts and consequences are for them and for their victim. Hold the offender accountable for restoration of the victim’s and the community’s status before the offense, to the greatest possible extent.
INTERVENTION DOs
- Do deal with the situation immediately while the acts and facts are fresh.
- Do confirm that the particular type of abuse is hurtful and harmful and will not be tolerated so that the message to the offender is loud and clear.
- Do value everyone’s feelings by listening carefully to all involved. There might be some pain and hurt inside the offender too.
- Do take those individuals aside and discuss the incident. Open dialogue, handled safely, can be invaluable to repairing relationships or neutralizing retributions.
- Do use it as a “teachable moment” if appropriate, so all students learn what is acceptable and what not in your community and why.
INTERVENTION DONTs
- Don’t ignore discriminatory behaviors. Silence implies consent. Unchecked behavior will repeat itself again and again.
- Don’t be immobilized by fear. If you need help consult with another authority figure to create a team effort. Not taking action can endanger kids and make classroom unsafe.
- Don’t overreact. How you handle the situation will influence how the individual involved handle the situation too.
- Don’t impose consequences before finding out exactly what happened from all involved.
- There is always a broader circumstance with the participants in the incident.
- Don’t embarrass either party publicly. Do you best to maintain discretion as much as possible to avoid exacerbating shame, guilt or embarrassment.
- Don’t assume the incident is isolated. It may unfortunately be the tip of the iceberg. Be inquisitive.
What Can You Do As Parents?
Talk to your kids, Know their friends, Look for change in behavior (health concerns), Talk to teachers, ask about social behaviors not only academics, What can you model?, Create a network of parents, be each others ears and eyes, Ask for help … do not isolate you questions, worries, concerns.
Procedures For Discipline:
- Discipline handled by classroom teacher when possible, teacher will contact the parent regarding incident and consequence if behavior continues, teacher parent conference will be scheduled.
- Students will be sent to the office when teacher deems it necessary based on the severity or reoccurrence of the behavior and the interventions that have been attempted.
- School staff will use their professional judgement to determine the level of discipline required.
- School staff will use progressive discipline based on the level of infraction and/or number of referrals to determine an appropriate consequence.
- Staff members will talk directly to students to explain why the behavior is inappropriate and suggest better choices. Staff will reference Cool Tools and Stand By Me/Olweus and the Character Book of the Month to ensure better choices in the future.
Levels Of Behavior Infractions:
- Red: Immediate Office Referral
- Orange: Handled at the Teacher/Staff level with discipline referral on file and signed by parent.
- Yellow: Handled at the Teacher/Staff level documentation is suggested.
Office Referral Consequences:
- First Referral: Conference with Assistant Principal
- Second Referral: Removal from recess or lunch and parent notification
- Third Referral: Parent phone call and conference
- Fourth Referral: In School Suspension – Buddy Class
- Fifth Referral: Out of School Suspension